After doing the Wearable Lingerie Challenge with Alysse and Marcy, I discovered something about myself that was alarming to say this least: I am very uncomfortable with my sexiness.
As my friends were cheering me on for my fashion freedom, I found myself covering up. At first, I thought it was because I was uncomfortable with applause or attention. But after two days of mulling over this experience, I came to the conclusion that I am uncomfortable with my own sexy.
Once upon a time, I wouldn’t date fat guys…as a fat woman. Strange,huh? I used to justify my reasons with sayings like, “Two fat people can’t have sex.” That all changed when a big man turned my world upside down, and he told me, “Is it possible that you feel uncomfortable dating a fat man because you are ashamed of your fatness?” Immediately, I said NO. But today, I can be real with myself. At that moment in my life, I was ashamed of myself–therefore I could never fathom seeing my partner in the same image.
Today, I acknowledge that I am a work in progress. Not every day is going to be a win for me. Many days, I have to understand why I shy away from certain clothing. Usually, I just use the excuse, “What would my job or mom think?” Albeit valid reasoning, it only perpetuates my irrationally rational fear of wearing sexy clothing and feeling sexy. I always found it so strange that I could stand naked, in front of thousands of people, because I believe being naked is natural. I don’t sexualize body parts because I see them as in binary ways. But wearing something that is supposed to suggest sexiness is torture for me. I grew up internalizing that sexiness, and the ability to feel sexy was only reserved for Victoria Secret models. It looks like I have some work to do!
So to commemorate my uphill battle of discovering my sexy, I want to celebrate 22 women who unknowingly are helping me to get into my sexiest state of mind!
#thesecurves are mine and I love them! #bodypositivity #bodypositive #effyourbeautystandards #fullfigured #fatshion #plusfashion #honormycurves #plussizestyle #curvygirls #curvyfashion #curvy #instafashion #goldenconfidence #plussizefashion #plussize #plussizeblogger #psstyle #psfashion#fullfiguredfashion #bodyconfidence #plusisequal #psblogger #celebratemysize #plusmodelmag #torridinsider #plussizefashionista
For you to see beauty here does not mean there is beauty in me, it means there is beauty rooted so deep within me you can't help but see it everywhere ❤️Rupi Kaur • there is nothing like a bad ass lingerie set that keeps you feeling sexy and confident at all the damn times! Sexiness courtesy of @yandyplus 💋 #waitingforbaelike #yandyplus
This image has been taken down twice on @tattooedyogimama's page… What a way to wake up…. I don't often write about the times I'm weak or that I hurt, but I am in a rare situation where it's important. In Vegas I was treated differently in a few scenarios and I let it get to me. Nikki being an amazing friend, tried to empathize. I realized as much as she loved me she would never know exactly what it was like to go through some of these things daily. I try very hard to ignore them and be better than the road bocks people throw in my face, but sometimes they get me. The both of us broke down in this beautiful mess of tears and promised that even though we wouldnt always be able to understand each others struggles we would be there to support each other. So today it was sad to find an image where Nikki wrote about this very experience was taken down by instagram- twice- for being offensive. Because I was in it. Because I was in a bralette set. Never before has she had a photo removed- and Nikki has posed completely naked time and again. For the first time Nikki has understood what it's like to be discriminated in this way. This terrible judgement has brought us closer, and I only wish I had the opportunity to see into her struggles in the same way she has just caught a glimpse of mine. Perhaps that is the only good that can come of this example of hate- a deeper understanding and love between two friends. #bodypositive #selflove #friendship #hate #love
Last year I wrote a post all about how to wear lingerie with confidence, this year I wrote a post schooling our guys on how to shop for us #plussize chicks, it a simple guys guide on how to shop for plus size lingerie. Valentine's Day is coming up and you just might want to send up a couple of my tips. CLICK LINK IN BIO for more details. This sext number is from @simplybeusa #SimplyBeMine #ad 📸 @justjphotography_
🌸Doing shoots like these are not easy!!! 🌸 You find yourself analyzing everything about your body, based on the opinions of the world. BUT, doing shoots like these can actually be easy! Today, I share my three steps to being your most confident self! • • • • Click the link in bio to read more! 📷- @mscamillejade • • • • • • #ubykotex #periodprojects #stylewatch #spon
In a world that's tried to tell me who, what & how to be; the bravest thing I've done is become myself, love myself & respect myself in a way that makes me feel good 💃🏽 ➖➖➖➖➖ My journey of shedding 70 lbs has strengthened me in ways I never knew could and I know I'm not perfect- but I also know I'm worth it 💁🏽 I hope we all find the strength to do what's best for US and love ourselves through whatever process life takes us through 💪🏽 . . . . Here's an #unedited #sneakpeak of the lingerie shoot I had with: Photographer : @lisafleetphotography & MUA: @kittycmua 💖 . . #model #stretchmarks #effyourbeautystandards #healthycurves #IDoHerbalife #70lbsdown #curvemodel #naturalhair #raw #curls #hazeleyes #makeup #instafashion #plussize #nyc #bookme #bopo #bodydiversity #diversity #thesecurves #bombshellbellas
i love @untitledandco sm they were the first company to want to collaborate with me and i cried and it was such a dreamy moment for me and i am forever grateful for them and they hold a special place in my heart bc they were here since the beginning!!! anyways really thankful FOR ALL OF U TODAY! muah 🌸🌷💕💕💕
Hey thigh. This year's theme is: "Walk in it" I had the opportunity to own my curves, face my fears, and have a bit of fun with the new lingerie brand, @inspirepsyche on the blog today! I was scared, nervous, and a ball of nerves and had to go to a happy place to do this, and i did it! And this was sooooooooo liberating and freeing! Im so happy that i faced this fear! Never say never, right? #beinspired #tcfstyle #curvyfashionistas #plussizefashion #plus_isamust #bbggirls #nowrongway #goldenconfidence #fatgirlsbewinning #fashionforwardplus #effyourbeautystandards #cns #curvee #curvesarein #mystylishcurves
Ladies, thanks for being so open with your works of art! For people like me, it’s hard for me to see myself in something sexy…but for others, it’s one of the best ways to celebrate your body! Maybe next year, I will produce my own boudoir shoot!