Writer: Marcy Cruz | “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” ~ Coco Chanel
Recently, I was looking through old photos and found myself literally shocked at the transformation that has taken place within me. And I cried.
I cried for the person I used to be 10 years ago. I wept for that girl who didn’t know her worth or beauty. I cried for the old me that took so much crap from people; from the failed relationships with men to friendships that did not serve me well. I used to try so hard to get people to like me and to feel accepted.
I didn’t realize how much of a transformation had taken place. It stunned me and reminded me that I never want to go back to being that person ever again. She was unhappy, high-strung, angry and just not in a good place. And her style was way off.
People often ask me how did I make this transformation happen; how did I make that first step to becoming the person I am today? There were many times I didn’t know what to say. Usually, transformations related to self-love and confidence focus on weight loss with those individuals posting “Before and After” pictures, stating how happy they are now that they have lost weight.
If anything, I’m almost the same size I was 10 years ago. I may have gone down a size or two but nothing major. That’s part of being a woman, in my opinion. Weight loss had absolutely nothing to do with my transformation. My transformation simply happened, courtesy of a single haircut. That was my first step to beginning this journey of loving myself and living my best life.
This is who I was over 10 years ago:
This image literally still shocks me to this day. I look at this picture and see someone who really didn’t care about herself. I was in my early 30’s, had a great job, lived on my own and was traveling the world.
But during that time, when I traveled, it felt like I was running away from what I didn’t want to face, in search of adventure… anything that could spark some happiness within me. I never found that inner peace and happiness because I was literally running away from myself, avoiding the fact that I had the answers within me. I just couldn’t see them because I hated myself.
A series of bad things such as losing my job of 8 years, my then-boyfriend leaving me for another woman and the loss of my dad and brother forced me to look at myself and how I was living. And one day, I decided to cut all of my hair off. That is the day my life changed forever.
It was my birthday month and I wanted to do something crazy. All it takes is one crazy idea to give you the courage to dare to live outside your comfort zone. A friend told me about this beauty school in Manhattan that was having a $5 haircut special and I decided one day to just go.
Something about that haircut turned on a switch within me that made me see that I was beautiful. That pixie cut boosted my confidence and helped with my grief because I did something for myself that was so exciting and daring. I had short hair before but never this short. I fell in love with myself that day and never looked back. That haircut gave me life.
The rest is history. I started putting colors in my hair about four years ago, where I started with a purple streaks in my hair and now have half of my head covered with pink/purple hair. I’ve had mermaid hair, peacock colored hair, etc. Me daring to venture outside of my comfort zone to try new hair colors and keep my hair short has led me to up my fashion game too.
I think that we all have something in our lives that inspires us to be better. For me, it was a simple haircut… who knows what it could be for you?
This is why I don’t hesitate to take chances in life now. I live fully, one day at a time and do things I love. Taking chances means no more “what if’s”. If you want to dye your hair pink, go for it! If you want to drive cross country, do it. If you want to ask that guy or girl out, go for it! You just never know what can trigger your own personal transformation within your life.
To my sisters out there struggling, want to change your life? Consider cutting your hair. Coco knew what she was talking about.
Check out my blog for more of my journey to loving myself 100% and living my best life: www.fearlesslyjustme.net