Five Ways To Be Your Own Valentine

Alysse Dalessandro " Five Ways To Be Your Own Valentine" On the Plus Side

Writer: Alysse Dalessandro | Growing up, I loved Valentine’s Day until my classmates stopped being obligated to bring Valentine’s Day cards for everyone in the class. My middle school Valentine’s Days were particularly painful. I didn’t feel like anyone’s first, second or third choice. I mostly felt pretty invisible and un-loveable every day during Middle School so a day that’s designed to celebrate love can make those feelings extra amplified.

My feelings on Valentine’s Day changed when my sister and I created our own celebration for the day. We wrote each other Valentine’s Day cards from our favorite TV characters. I learned not to hate Valentine’s Day because I started getting Valentines from Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer that said things like “I bloody love you.” It sounds silly to me now but I totally get why those Valentines worked. It helped me to realize that Valentine’s Day isn’t about getting flowers or chocolates from a romantic partner; in fact, you really don’t need anyone else to make your Valentine’s Day special.

I see Valentine’s Day as one more day for self care – something I’m learning to incorporate more into my life. I no longer see Valentine’s Day as a time to dwell on what I don’t have; instead, I celebrate my friends, my family, and myself! Here are five of my ideas for celebrating yourself on Valentine’s Day and all year round!

  1. Treat Yourself!

Have you ever wished someone else would buy you flowers for Valentine’s Day? I know I used to literally shed tears over not getting flowers from a romantic partner on Valentine’s Day. But now, if I want something, I just treat myself instead because I don’t need a romantic partner to know that I deserve flowers once and awhile. Okay and a few pairs of new shoes while I’m at it, too.

  1. Treat Someone Else!

I can’t remember for how many years my sister and I continued to exchange Valentine’s but it definitely lasted for a while. Now I celebrate the day with my best friend. We usually go in on a box of champagne infused chocolate covered grapes and buy each other another little surprise or two. Even when we have both been in romantic relationships, we’ve still always found a way to show our appreciation for each other on Valentine’s Day. Giving to my best friend on Valentine’s Day makes me feel good!

  1. Log Out

If you’re not quite ready to celebrate yourself on Valentine’s Day while still witnessing other people’s professions of romantic love, you can totally take a social media break for the day! There’s nothing wrong with looking out for yourself. I know for me the unfollow button on Facebook is one of my personal favorite forms of self-care. It’s okay to be in process with certain feelings still and recognizing that is healthy!

  1. Write Yourself a Valentine

Learning to engage in more positive self-talk really helped me learn to love myself more. Instead of putting myself down, I learned to talk to myself like I would talk to my best friend. I practice empathy with myself in the same way I would with a friend. I tell myself that I am worthy of love and I work on putting that love into action and words. So head to Hallmark, grab your favorite Valentine’s Card and tell yourself why you’re the best (because you are!)

  1. Take Yourself On A Date

I used to feel extremely embarrassed to eat alone. I used to go to great lengths to look busy so that people wouldn’t judge me for being alone. But I realized over the years that the only one judging me for being alone was me. Now, I eat out alone and I don’t think too much more about it than I am alone and I need to eat. If you don’t already have a date on Valentine’s Day, well guess what? You do now! And I hear your date is a real catch!

 

So whether you’re single or attached on Valentine’s Day, there’s no excuse not to show some love to yourself!

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Alysse Dalessandro is a size inclusive designer, fashion and beauty writer, body positive advocate, plus size fashion blogger, professional speaker, and all-around loudmouth.

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