Writer: Marcy Cruz | “Clothes mean nothing until someone lives in them.” ~ Marc Jacobs
Recently I was reminded that the opinion of others should not influence what I wear.
I asked my mom, “How does this dress look on me?” as I dressed for an event one day. She replied, “Hmmm, that dress seems kind of short and it’s sleeveless. I wouldn’t wear that because I like my dresses longer and don’t like my arms showing.”
Notice how she is telling me about her own personal feelings about the dress, instead of telling me how I look in it?
This is a perfect example of why we should never seek approval from others and ask them what they think when it comes to fashion.
Sure, it’s great to feel validation from someone else and receive compliments. However, sometimes the opinions of others can be damaging to our own self-image and body confidence.
I recently blogged about a gingham dress I wore while in Los Angeles and how I was afraid of people saying it looks like I’m wearing a big tablecloth:
“I love prints but have not always been as confident in wearing them as I am now. It took a lot of work on myself and how I let the opinions of others affect me. Over time, I realized that many opinions are fueled by a person’s personal feelings about the thing they are giving their opinion about. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AT ALL.”
My mom’s personal feelings on her own body issues is what is driving her opinion of me in that dress. It has nothing to do about how I actually look in the dress. This is why I think it is so important to work on tuning out the fashion critics; their words can influence you on what you wear and ultimately end up limiting you in living fully.
“You can’t live your best life if you’re letting others limit you and affect how you feel about yourself.”
A good friend of mine hates polka dots and I remember a few years ago, he made a negative comment on a pink polka dot dress I wore while in Florida, stating that the dress made me look pregnant. He has since never said a word about what I wear ever again.
You are allowed to stand up for yourself and let people know that while they are entitled to their opinion, you don’t agree. And then just wear what you want.
Showing up for yourself, as I talked about in my last piece, also means speaking up for yourself too! YOU are what matters and you decide on how you let things affect you, make you feel and how you live your life.
I don’t have the perfect answer to tuning out the fashion critics but I can only share how I deal with it.
I ask myself if this is a style I want to wear. If the answer is yes, then I wear it. I don’t ask anyone’s opinion and honestly, there are times I don’t even look at a mirror for a long time. Because it is during that mirror time, where that negative inner voice will try to tune me out of wearing it.
I’ll start to see this lump showing or my back fat or my arms hanging out and while I love myself, that negative inner voice will creep back into my mind and start denouncing all of that.
While the opinions of others can be damaging, the conversations we tend to have with ourselves do the most damage. Tuning out the fashion critics also means changing how you talk to yourself. It means talking love into yourself and accepting your body for the amazing vessel it is. It means recognizing that your body has brought you along on this amazing journey of life and it is YOU.
I am a firm believer that what you put into something, you will get back. That goes for your body as well. The more you talk life and love into your body, the more you will love your body, accept it and appreciate it. That love and acceptance is such a strong armor against the fashion critics, fear and negativity.
It’s not easy and it’s something you have to work on at a daily basis. You may have bad days where the words from someone will hurt you and make you feel terrible. But what counts is that you have your moment and then move on. Put on that short print dress and go. Live your best life and be happy. That’s what I’m doing.
Check out my blog for more of my body love journey and living my #bestfatlife: www.fearlesslyjustme.net